WW1 and its aftermath: exemplar student response band 4

Below you will find an exemplar student response to a section A question in the specimen assessment materials, followed by an examiner commentary on the response.

Sample student response - band 4 

Examine the view that women's attempts to write from a male combatant's point of view are unconvincing.

It would be very easy to dismiss the attempts of women to write from a male combatant's point of view as unconvincing, taking the popular male view that, deprived of any opportunity to experience front-line battle in World War One, women could not possibly represent the horrors of war other than as second-hand hearsay. This view perhaps holds greater weight when we consider the poignant descriptions of the horror in the poetry of such as Wilfred Owen, and no doubt some will have been persuaded by Sassoon's attack on 'women's romantic ignorance of its real nature' in 'Glory of Women'.  What this view relies on, however, is that a male combatant's point of view only concerns itself with the experience of battle itself, which women cannot authentically write about, rather than other resultant experiences such as injury and convalescence, which women working as nurses would have witnessed at close hand. This essay will therefore consider different poems which attempt to write from a male combatant's point of view about a range of issues to examine whether the view of them as 'unconvincing' can be supported.

Three poems, which make a clear attempt to write from a soldier's perspective through the use of first person in a battlefield setting are 'Over the Top', 'From a Trench' and 'Christ in Flanders'. A lack of imagery which conveys the true horror of combat is noticeable in all three poems, which might suggest they are unconvincing. They do, however, offer insight into soldiers' thoughts and feelings about being in battle.

Bristowe has been accused of sentimentality in 'Over the Top', by showing a lack of fear and even excitement in a soldier, who is about to go into battle but the poem can be read differently. Bristowe's use of a countdown builds the anticipation and the regular rhyme scheme supports this idea. Although he claims 'it ain't with fear!', the soldier reveals an anxiety about how quickly time is passing: 'Ow they creeps on unawares,/Those blooming minutes' and 'Nother minute sprinted by/'Fore I knowed it.' His nerves are shown through a simile: 'It's like as if a frog /Waddled round in your inside.' The imagery here might be considered child-like and so unconvincing but it should perhaps be remembered that many soldiers were very young. He appears to accept the inevitability of death and the rhyming couplets at the end of each stanza convey his emotion. The cliché that you see your life flashing before your eyes before you die is conveyed in 'Every word I've ever said/Seems a-shouting in my head' and the soldier resorts to praying to God but believes that once he goes 'Over the Top', it will be 'to Kingdom Come!'

The idea of soldiers turning to religion in times of trouble is explored in 'Christ in Flanders' where Whitmell writes the poem like a confession of a soldier who asks God for 'courage, strength, and pardon', the latter for having nearly 'forgotten' Christ. The poem reflects on how society has changed  where 'we only thought of You on a Sunday - /Sometimes, perhaps, not even on a Sunday' but now that soldiers are facing 'Pain – death – the uttermost of human loss', they find comfort in the fact that Christ has himself suffered and so will 'stand beside us to the last.'

A different aspect of war is explored in 'From a Trench', that of how it made soldiers feel to know that people at home were oblivious to the horrors of war and, even worse, 'think we're here for fun.' Bell uses a series of contrasts to convey the difference between the Fighting Front and the Home Front but with a particular emphasis on nature, something which female poets focused on. 'The fields where grew the living corn' are now 'spoilt and battered' and 'heavy with our dead', showing a contrast between life and death. The 'green' fields at home are contrasted with the 'red' grass of the battlefield, which gives an image of the bloodshed, and is trampled 'into a purple slime.' The key image, however, is of the 'crocuses at Nottingham!' which contrast to the poppy as a symbol of death, in representing life as they are 'young', 'bright' and have 'thousands of buds' which are 'Ungathered by the Hun' and so untouched by the horrors of war. The ignorance of 'silly fools' at home who believe the jingoistic propaganda is embodied in the schoolchildren who, unlike the soldier, do not live in 'dread' and have 'never heard a gun.' Bell effectively finishes the poem with an image of the battlefield as 'Hell' rather than the 'crocuses' to emphasise that this is from the soldier's point of view and we are left in no doubt of the soldier's bitterness.

Whilst these three poems do not manage to convey the horrors of battle, and their description appears very tame compared to that of Owen and Sassoon, they do offer insight into a range of feelings experienced by combatants. It is perhaps worth finally considering the poem 'Pluck', written by a nurse about an injured young soldier, which might be said to convincingly show the results of war from the soldier's point of view.

Dobell writes in the third person, which arguably makes the account less authentic, but is writing from first-hand observation. Like Bell, she uses contrast but here between the injured soldier as a young innocent boy and as the brave man he has had to become. The opening line, 'Crippled for life at seventeen', establishes Dobell's key message of how war is taking away the lives of young soldiers and the poem is structured to move from the young boy to the adult to reflect this. The soldier is initially described as 'a child' and his innocence is conveyed in 'his great eyes' which 'question why' and also in his reaction to having his bandages changed where he 'winds the clothes about his head/That none may see his heart-sick fear'. Dobell's observations portray the soldier's pain where 'he shrinks in dread' and she effectively uses alliteration in 'so wasted and so white' and 'his shaking, strangled sobs'. The final stanza shows how, in spite of his fear, he is 'a soldier yet' and so puts on a brave face. Dobell cleverly includes a bracketed reminder of the boy's innocence whose 'tell-tale lashes are still wet' before finishing with the adult symbol of the boy smoking 'a woodbine cigarette' and so with the romantic notion of the brave soldier.

In conclusion, it is not straightforward to say that poems written by women, which attempt to convey a male combatant's point of view, are unconvincing. It is true that those which might be seen as authentic in so far as they are written in the first person and in a battlefield setting disappoint in their lack of imagery to convey the horrors of battle but they nonetheless offer insight into some of the solders' thoughts and feelings about other aspects of war. Perhaps, however, it is the observations of a nurse, although written in the third person, which offer us the more convincing perspective on the horrors of war from a male combatant.

Examiner commentary

AO1

The candidate offers a well-structured and coherent argument, which clearly focuses on the task and sequences ideas logically. The candidate writes with confidence and a clear personal voice, with appropriate use of critical concepts and terminology and accurate expression.

AO2

The candidate demonstrates thorough engagement with how meanings are shaped by a variety of poetic methods. Analysis of these methods is often implicit, however, and it is this which prevents the response being placed in a higher band.

AO3

There is a thorough understanding of the attitudes to female poets in the context of WW1 and how their ability to write convincingly from a male combatant's point of view is influenced by their roles in the war.

AO4

By writing about the representation of women within WW1, the candidate has connected with this concept as it is presented more widely in literature of the period. Reference is made to poems which might be seen as both authentic/inauthentic compared to others and specific reference is made in comparison to poetry written by male combatants themselves.

AO5

There is thorough and confident engagement with the debate set up in the task and the candidate consistently acknowledges different possible interpretations.

Overall: Coherent and Thorough. This response would seem to fit the descriptors of Band 4.

This resource is part of the WW1 and its aftermath resource package.