Aspects of tragedy - exemplar student response and commentary

Below you will find an exemplar student response to a Section C question in the specimen assessment materials, followed by an examiner commentary on the response.

Paper 1A, Section C

Sample question

'At the heart of the tragic experience is an overwhelming sense of shame.'

To what extent do you agree with this view in relation to two texts you have studied?

Remember to include in your answer relevant comment on the ways the writers have shaped meanings.

Band 2 response

Tess is the trajic heroine in Hardy's 'Tess of the D'Urbervilles' and she does lots of things that she should be ashamed of according to Victorian society like having sex with someone when they are not married and then lying to Angel. In my opinion, the way she behaves is immoral because back in those times it was considered wrong to sleep with someone when you weren't going marry them and then just run away. Also, she lies about it to Angel so that he does not know about her past and then doesn't want to be with her, which is understandable because she is not fit to be the wife of someone who comes from a religious family. She should feel bad because she has almost ruined his life and even today lots of couples would have an argument about this.

Tess is also the trajic heroine because she is the one we sympathise with the most and Hardy calls her a 'maiden' in one of the sections, which means that she is innocent and so we feel sorry for what happens to her in the novel. For example, she seems really happy at the dairy with her friends Iss, Retty and Marian. She falls in love with Angel and thinks that all her sorrows from the past are over and she is at home in the natural world. However, when Alec turns up again, he ruins everything for her and this is what brings about her downfall. This is not her fault, which is why her situation is so trajic. She feels shame when she is abandoned by her husband, she has no money and her family are homeless so she wants to help them out so she gets together with Alec even though he has been quite mean in the past. When Angel turns up again having been away for a while, she wants to be with him because she loves him more than Alec. She kills Alec and then they run away together and hide in a cottage, but they are spotted, they run onto Stonehenge and Tess falls asleep. When she wakes up there are some policemen and they take her away and she is hanged. Her death is trajic because we don't feel she deserved to die as fate always seemed against her and she didn't know about 'the dangers of men' because she was so young when she went to see Alec and her mum didn't tell her anything about what they were like and her dad was always drinking and in the pub. As a result, Tess becomes a victim of all the other people in the novel and she is ashamed of what she does and what happens to her.

Also, Alec should feel bad for what he has done to Tess. He is like a pantomime villain with his moustache and cigar and giving her strawberries, which is bit like what Jack the Ripper did when he tempted prostitutes by offering them grapes. He lures Tess to his house and then he rapes her there, which means that she isn't pure anymore and later, when Angel finds out, he doesn't want to be with her either. Some critics would argue that this is all Alec's fault as he is the villain and so he should feel ashamed about how he is spoilt everything for Tess even though he does try and help her family later on.

In the same way that Tess is the trajic heroine, Willy is the trajic hero in 'Death of a Salesman' although because this is a play, he is presented very differently and it was written over a hundred years later. Willy tries really hard to do his best for his family and sons and is kind to them, but he is ashamed of his lack of success. Linda is really worried about him because he seems to be having a breakdown, but she doesn't really know why because she has always lived inside their house and never really goes out much whereas Willy has done lots of travelling. However, Linda does love Willy and she does know that he feels bad about himself and wants to make his life better and is really pleased that her sons have come home and wants them all to go out to dinner together to sort things out. This is one of the trajic climaxes because the dinner does not go as planned and Willy is left by himself in the restaurant and he can't really afford the food.

Also, I think Willy should feel bad in the way he does because a man is supposed to support his family and Willy doesn't anymore because he is not a very good salesman, which is what the title is all about. Also, he has affairs and gives the other women stuff, which is definitely wrong even today, which is also like Tess having an affair with Alec. Willy feels embarassed about this affair especialy because Biff sees him.

At the end of the play, Willy is also seen as a trajic victim like Tess because they both die and it is sort of their fault. Willy kills himself when everyone else is in bed although we don't see this because he drives off in his car. We know he is dead because there is a funeral, which is different to Tess being hung. However, not many people come to this, which is also a shame.

Overall, I think Tess is more of a trajic victim because lots of awful things happen to her whereas Willy is older and should know better so we feel less sorry when he dies. At the end Linda thinks that she is 'free' because Willy's insurance money pays off their bills. He killed himself so that his family could have the money as he is so ashamed of not making enough as a salesman. Miller puts this at the end of the play so that we think about it.

Examiner commentary

This response is not very securely focused on the task and though the student does mention shame and ashamed, there is little sense of 'overwhelming' and not much sense of how shame operates in the overall tragic experience. Whilst there is evidently some simple knowledge of the texts there is little understanding of the texts' subtlety and ambiguities. Some vague points of relevance emerge such as Willy being 'ashamed about his lack of success', but these are not developed or explored.  In places the candidate offers a descriptive approach though there is an awareness that the texts are tragedies and they are discussed as such. There is a sense the candidate wants to write about tragic heroes or heroines rather than the question that has been set, which means there is not enough about 'shame'.

AO1

There is a very simple structure to the writing but the paragraphs do not clearly follow on from each other. The expression is simple and there is some vague awareness of critical vocabulary. Although the candidate's argument lacks cohesion, there is some discussion of shame though some of the comments are muddled. The candidate often writes about the characters as if they are real and whether they ought to be ashamed. There are some spelling and punctuation errors but they do not obstruct the meaning. Although there is some textual knowledge, this remains rather general and there are almost no direct quotations.

AO2 

There is an awareness that Death of a Salesman is a play and that this is different from Tess of the D'Urbervilles but not much is made of the novel and drama forms and there is little sense of the writers at work and how they shape meanings. At the end of the answer there is a mention of Miller's structure and how this affects audiences but the point is not developed.

AO3 

There is some sense of the tragic and dramatic contexts here but ideas are mentioned rather than developed. In focusing on 'shame' the candidate engages with the moral context in a very simple way. There is also a little awareness of the contexts in which the two texts were written.

AO4 

In writing about 'shame' across two texts the candidate makes some very simple connections. There is a vague sense that shame is an aspect of the tragic genre.

AO5 

Although the focus is not consistent, there are views expressed in a very simple way.

This answer is slightly better than the descriptors for Band 1 and it would seem appropriate to place this response into band 2.

This resource is part of the Aspects of tragedy resource package.