Crime writing: example answer and commentary - band 2

An exemplar student response to a Section B question in the sample assessment materials, followed by an examiner commentary on the response.

Sample script - Paper 2A, Section B, band 2 response

'In Oliver Twist Dickens presents criminals as products of their society'.

To what extent do you agree with this view? Remember to include in your answer relevant detailed exploration of Dickens’ authorial methods.

Criminals in Oliver Twist are characters who do things that are illegal like for example Sikes because he kills Nancy and Fagin because he gets boys to steal for him. However, these characters are not products of society in the way Nancy and the boys are. Nancy is a prostitute and a criminal, forced into crime because of her poverty and she is also a victim of Sikes’ brutality.

Firstly, Nancy is definitely a product of her society. Nancy is one of the underclass and was a child of the streets. She then became a prostitute and part of a criminal gang. She is a product of the larger society and the smaller society of the criminal world as she is encouraged to make money for Sikes and for the gang she works for. Prostitution was immoral if not illegal when the book was written. Nancy is part of the criminal gang which lives by robbery. However, Nancy is a mainly a victim of society – or her criminal society - because Bill kills her in a terrible and bloody way because she tries to save Oliver and become a better person. She is the only developed female criminal and she is clearly a victim of the men in Fagin’s gang and a product of two uncaring societies. There does not seem to be anyone who can help her which makes her a victim.

Oliver would be a good example to use to support the quotation. He is a criminal in a way because he is in Fagin’s gang and he is with the gang when they break into a house. He is a product of society because society does not take proper care of orphans. Because he is abused by society he runs away and ends up in Fagin’s gang. But he is really an innocent character. He is pushed through a window to help because he is small. Because he is forced to help he can be seen as a victim. He could also be a victim when he is at the workhouse and when he is an apprentice to the coffin makers because he is badly treated and because he does not get enough food. He is a victim especially as he hates the work he has to do. This is why he runs away and is lured into Fagin’s den. It could be said that Oliver is really a victim of society rather than a product because of the way he is treated by authority. He commits the terrible offence by the workhouse standards of asking for more food in the workhouse and is punished for it. However at the end of the novel Dickens rewards him for his goodness by giving him a good home with Mr Brownlow.

Bill Sikes and Fagin are the worst criminals as they are cruel and horrible. Sikes is a murderer. He attacks Nancy when he is in a temper and in his rage he kills her. He is also violent to his dog. Dickens makes Sikes speak in an aggressive way to show how truly nasty he is. If a boy were to ‘peach’ on him he says ‘I’d grind his skull under the iron heel of my boot into as many grains as there are hairs upon his head’. It is hard to see that he is a product of his society as he just seems to be evil and chooses to live the life he does. He clearly does not want to work honestly in the way that society expects.

Fagin is a gang leader and he makes children work for him stealing – especially pick-pocketing and he takes all the profits. Today his crimes would also include child abuse. He is physically and mentally cruel to the boys. He doesn’t care for them and his only worry is that if they are caught they might tell the police about him. He does not seem to be a product of society as he seems to be in control of his own society of the gang. At the end of the novel both Sikes and Fagin are punished for their crimes. Sikes is chased by a crowd as he tries to escape and he falls and hangs himself. Fagin is put in prison and then hanged. This is a typical ending when the bad people get punished. If they are products of society then society chooses in the end to destroy them.

Overall, there are lots of criminals in the novel and sometimes they are products of society, but Oliver is really a victim of an uncaring society but I feel most sorry for Nancy.

Examiner commentary

There are some points about criminals and their potentially being products of society here and the candidate focuses on the question in a fairly simple way. There is some attempt to argue that criminals are more victims or beneficiaries of society than products. However, most of the writing is of a generalised nature. There are few specific details and only one quotation. The candidate does not use the open book to support ideas.

AO1 - there is some sense of ordering the ideas and separate paragraphs are used for the discussion of different characters. The writing is clear but there is only a generalised use of critical concepts.

AO2 - there is a little awareness that Dickens has constructed the text to shape meanings and there is a simple understanding of authorial methods. The candidate makes some structural points about the ending of the novel in relation to the task and there is a comment on Sikes’ language.

AO3 - there is a simple understanding of criminal, moral and social contexts. There is also some sense of when the novel was written and how readers might respond from a modern contextual position.

AO4 – in engaging with ‘criminals’ and the causes of criminality the candidate is connecting with elements of the wider genre; this is done implicitly.

AO5 – the candidate is able to construct some argument and make some general points in the debate. A simple personal view is offered at the end.

This response seems to match the Band 2 descriptors.

This is part of a Elements of crime writing resource package.